Here is the step-by-step Chinese wedding planning guide that past me wishes she had when she decided to plan a traditional Chinese wedding in China–in less than two months. It’s certainly doable, and this guide leaves nothing out.
If, like me, you do not live in China but are planning your destination wedding there, you’ll want to have the following steps completed before it comes time to travel there. It will save you a lot of stress.
Also, make sure you have these helpful apps for traveling in China.
The Chinese Wedding Planning Checklist:
- Wedding Planning from Abroad
- Week 1
- Week 2-3
- Wedding Planning in China
- Week 4
- Week 5-6
- Week 7
Wedding Planning from Abroad:
Step 1: Decide on a wedding budget
Your ballpark wedding budget is something you’re going to need to decide early on because it will impact the rest of your plans. I recommend defining the amount you plan to spend by category within your budget to make sure you’ve got everything covered. Miscellaneous expenses can sneak up on you. Your budget should also be clearly communicated to anyone working on your wedding, whether it’s a wedding coordinator or a family member or a specialty vendor.
Your budget should cover these basic wedding costs:
- wedding venue
- wedding dress(es) / suit(s)
- food and drinks
Beyond the basics, there can be many more wedding budget categories depending on how much you want to cover:
- wedding planner(s) / coordinator(s)
- photographer(s) / videographer(s)
- stylist(s) for hair and makeup
- emcee (if you hire one)
- accessories (e.g. shoes, jewelry, etc.)
- wedding favors
- ceremonial props (e.g. kneeling pillows, tea set, etc.)
- cake / treats
- flowers
- decor
- etc.
The more Chinese wedding traditions you plan to cover on your agenda, the more costs there will be. For example, if you’d like a procession of luxury cars or a special wedding band, these would require additional budget.
Step 2: Pick your wedding vibes
Make a Chinese wedding mood board on Pinterest, or wherever it’s easy to share, with reference photos of the kind of vibes you envision for the wedding. These ideas should help you and your wedding team decide on the following:
- wedding decor
- color palette
- floral arrangments
- stage decor
- bride and groom looks
To bring your vision to life, it would also help your wedding team to understand:
- why you’re choosing China as your wedding destination
- how long your wedding will be (e.g. half day, full day, multiple days)
- how many / which Chinese wedding traditions you want to cover
- bride and groom’s personal backgrounds
- how you met — your love story
Step 3: Vet wedding planners or ask family to help
If you have family in China who are willing to help put your Chinese wedding together, it’s totally possible to plan the entire wedding without any professional wedding planners or coordinators. However, hiring a wedding planner can save you a lot of stress–and money when it comes to negotiating costs with vendors–leading up to the wedding and on the wedding day itself.
Reach out to some wedding planners via WeChat, ask for their cost range and look through their reference photos and videos for weddings they’ve produced. Schedule a call with the wedding planners you like best to discuss your needs. Get a feel for their personality. If either you or your soon-to-be spouse does not speak Chinese, make sure your wedding planner has English-speaking (or whichever language you speak) capabilities on their staff. Otherwise, communicating and executing your vision will be difficult.
I chatted with a few wedding planners and most offered a wide range of costs and services, with most common packages averaging between 30,000 RMB to 60,000 RMB, which is roughly $4,000 – $8,000 USD. Some wedding planners were more responsive than others. I chose my wedding planner based on her responsiveness, English capabilities, experience with planning in tight timeframes, and willingness to coordinate via text/video calls while I was abroad.
My wedding planner and her staff covered all of the following within their fee structure: Chinese wedding decor, floral arrangments, traditional Chinese wedding ceremony scripting, sound engineering, venue setups, lighting, seating arrangements, dessert displays, photoshoot setup and props, and coordinating the rest of the crew as well as guests.
Step 4: Assemble your wedding team
Whether you’ve got a wedding planner or have family helping, you’ll need to hire or assign the following roles if you want them covered on your wedding day:
- photographer(s)
- videographer(s)
- stylist(s)
- emcee
Your wedding planner will likely have recommended partners based on who they’ve worked with in the past, and the benefit of going with their team is they already work well together, but this option can be pricey as they often recommend the top-tier options. You can also find these vendors separately according to your budget and style. Typically, you’ll need to pay a deposit via WeChat to reserve the wedding date with these vendors.
I went with a family member’s referrals for my photographers, videographer and stylist. I liked their portfolio the most and they were more aligned with my budget but they did not speak English, which was less of a challenge than I thought it would be for my husband, so it all worked out. I recruited my sister, who has officiated a wedding before, to emcee our wedding. But like me, her Chinese is decent at best. So days before the wedding, we also recruited my mom’s bestie’s daughter, my honorary sister and well-spoken media reporter in China, to co-emcee and recite some of the more nuanced Chinese prose.
Step 5: Order any custom Chinese wedding dresses and accessories
If any of your Chinese wedding dresses or suits will be custom-made, it’s best to send your measurements and order the items before you get to China so that they are ready for fittings and tailoring once you’re there.
Your wedding planner can also help you rent outfits for the wedding day. However, the cost of renting a Chinese wedding dress was not much cheaper than simply buying one made to my size. I also didn’t want the stress of physically dress hunting when I arrived in China, just weeks before the wedding.
Also, the outfit rental shops only carry the most common sizes in China, so there was no way to rent any wedding suits or shoes for my 6-foot-3 groom. Luckily, suit tailors in China can work fast (at great quality and price) so he was able to custom tailor a new wedding suit the week before the wedding. We didn’t have time to custom-make his red Chinese wedding outfit for the ceremony so we had to online order a lot of options for him to try, hoping one would fit.
While going wedding dress shopping and suit shopping in person can be a fun pre-wedding activity, it can also be super stressful and time-consuming–especially if you have an uncommon size. Everyone in China orders everything online and it often arrives on the same day or the next day. If you’re under a time crunch, sourcing Chinese wedding clothes online is a much better option.
Step 6: Pick a wedding venue
Once you’ve shared your Chinese wedding vision, style requirements and budget with your wedding planner, they can propose some venues. My wedding planner sent me photos and videos via WeChat of all of the venue options aligned with my style. When it comes to Chinese wedding vs Western wedding styles, a lot of young Chinese couples like the Western vibes so there were a lot of modern venues with this aesthetic, but I was going for warm, traditional, ancient-style vibes. Once I narrowed it down to the top three venues, they arranged a video tour of the spaces. Luckily, I had family members available to also physically visit these venues with my wedding planner. Some venues charge for the space and catering separately. Others allow you to use the space for no additional charge as long as you spend the minimum requirement on catering.
Some of these considerations may help you decide on the final wedding venue:
- does the venue accept outside caterers or do they require the use of their restaurant / menu packages?
- do the seating arrangements allow for easy flow and socialization?
- are there hotel rooms available for guests either inside or next to the venue?
- can they ensure privacy from other guests on the property?
Step 7: Pick an auspicious wedding date
If you are not superstitious, you can simply pick any wedding date that suits your travel plans. My family insisted we pick the most auspicious date available by taking our birth dates and consulting the moon, stars and fortune tellers. We didn’t have a wide range of dates to choose from since we would only be in China for about a month, but we found one that worked.
There are even resources online and apps available to help superstitious Chinese folks pick the most auspicious date for any event, from getting married to getting a haircut.
Step 8: Notify any traveling guests of your wedding plans
If you are inviting anyone to your wedding who will have to travel internationally to China, it’s best to inform them of the wedding plans as soon as possible, even if you haven’t prepared any formal invitations yet. They will likely need to arrange a visa to enter China and book travel in advance.
Since our Chinese wedding was such a last-minute decision, we didn’t want to burden our international family and friends with expensive last-minute travel–we would celebrate with them separately–and kept the guest list to 60 of our closest family and friends in China.
The only guest who was visiting China for the first time ever to join our Chinese wedding was the mother of the groom. She was able to get a visa to enter China within a month of the wedding.
Once you’re in China, it’ll be easier to tackle the rest of Chinese wedding planning, like the final details and agenda. I felt more reassured after seeing everything and meeting everyone in person.
Wedding Planning in China:
Step 9: Meet with your wedding team to discuss the agenda and plans
Now that you’re in China, it’s time to solidify all the plans with everyone in person. Your wedding planner needs to meet and coordinate with your photographers and videographers on the full agenda and expectations.
My wedding planner set up a tea-time meeting with all of the crew as well as some of my family members who would be helping, and we talked through the rough outline of the timeline, assigned who would be in charge of preparing which wedding supplies for the photoshoot and ceremonies, and answered any logistical questions. This is also the time to decide how many locations the crew will be required to transport between on the wedding day.
From this point on, the entire wedding crew was communicating on a group chat via WeChat to keep everyone informed of updates.
Step 10: Get fitted for custom Chinese attire
By this point, any wedding dresses and suits you ordered should have arrived and it’s time to try them on and get any adjustments made with a local tailor. Out of my three outfit changes, only one required adjustments. The rainbow-colored tea ceremony dress (or “qi pao”) that my mom’s bestie got custom-made for me was just right. My silver wedding gown for the reception has a corset tie on the back so it could be cinched up to my liking. The main feature, my modern take on the traditional red Chinese wedding dress, needed to be cinched in the waist, which a local tailor was able to do within a couple of days.
The groom’s custom dark navy suit was tailor-made to his size within a week and luckily did not require any additional adjustments at the fitting. Out of the 10 or so red options for the groom, only one kind of fit, and it would have to do–everything else was either too short or too wide. It was a more modern type of suit jacket without the accompanying pants or skirt, but that actually paired better with my modern dress.
Step 11: Order anything you realized you didn’t pack
I almost forgot about wedding shoes but was able to order five pairs online that arrived within a couple of days and ended up having a hard time choosing just one.
Some of the miscellaneous items that you might end up needing to buy or source from your crew / family include things like:
- the groom’s ties (my groom wore bolo tie handmade by his mother)
- the bride’s headpieces (I borrowed mine from my stylist’s huge collection)
- the red Chinese bridal veil or “hong gai tou” and red stick for the first look (my photographers supplied this)
Step 12: Send wedding invitations
As soon as you have your agenda locked down, particularly when you’d like guests to arrive, you can create your wedding invitations. Physical paper invitations are a nice touch, especially for the elders, but digital invitations via WeChat are just as lovely under a time crunch. There are many free apps synced with WeChat that allow you to create custom interactive invitations. We didn’t send out our digital invitations until a couple of weeks before the wedding because so many things kept changing, but our guests were all close family and friends, and we had already informed everyone of the date so that worked fine for us.
Step 13: Order Chinese wedding supplies, treats, drinks and wedding favors
It’s customary to gift your guests with wedding favors at Chinese weddings. These typically look like red decorated boxes filled with chocolates and sweet treats. It’s also customary to ensure you don’t run out of drinks at your wedding. It’s not very common for Chinese wedding venues to host open bars. Most couples bring their own beverage supply to serve at the wedding including bai jiu (“white liquor,” the strong stuff), wine, beer, sodas and juices. It’s also customary to supply your guests with cigarettes, but you can decide if that’s appropriate for your crowd or not.
If you’re having a Chinese tea ceremony, some of the items you might need to buy, if not supplied by your wedding planner, include:
- red ceremonial tea set with enough cups for every elder being honored
- two red kneeling pillows for the bride and groom
- lucky treats (e.g. peanuts, longan, jujube, etc.)
Step 14: Pick the wedding dinner menu (and taste it)
While Western weddings often serve individually plated meals, Chinese wedding banquets serve family-style meals, much like their usual dining culture. Most venues and caterers offer packages priced by the table, which typically serves 10 people. Each table is served the same set of dishes throughout the night. The packages can range from 1,500 RMB to 5,000 RMB per table, which is $200 – $700 USD. Of course, there are even higher-tier packages for those wanting the most luxurious delicacies of seafood. Traditional Chinese wedding food often includes fish, suckling pig, roast duck, lobster and scallops.
Step 15: Test your Chinese wedding hair and makeup looks
Before meeting with your stylist, share your mood board, color palette and wedding dress choices so they can get a feel for your vision. If you’re going to make several outfit changes, it’s critical to map out the process and timing with your stylist to ensure you stay on track with timing.
I spent over six hours with my stylist on makeup testing day. I brought all my wedding dresses and we ran through the transitions together. This was also when I tried on all the traditional Chinese wedding hair accessories like headpieces and jewelry so my stylist would know which to bring with her on the wedding day. We even took test photos to make sure the hair and makeup would photograph well.
Step 16: Reserve hotel blocks for traveling guests
If you have guests traveling for the wedding, it’s helpful to offer some guidance on where to stay. Some venues have built-in accommodations as part of their package. If not, there are typically hotels on the same street. We blocked off rooms for important guests at the hotel next door to our venue, where we were also staying, and they offered enough flexibility to allow us to make changes up until the week of the wedding.
Step 17: Create the wedding dinner seating chart
A seating chart is not always needed for Chinese weddings as people like to socialize around all the family-style dining tables. However, it helps keep things organized and guide guests. We had the seating chart template style picked out but didn’t finalize our seating chart until days before the wedding because there were so many changes, but it wasn’t a problem for my wedding planner to whip up the seating chart at the last minute.
Step 18: Rehearse the Chinese wedding ceremony with your emcee
If you’re hiring a professional Chinese wedding emcee, they typically have ideas to propose for the flow of the traditional Chinese wedding ceremonies, and may also have suggestions for certain family members to speak. If you’re recruiting a family member to emcee, like me, it’s helpful to provide some type of script–especially if they need to speak in both Chinese and English (or another language). In either case, everyone getting on stage should be aligned on who needs to be where and when. Don’t worry if new ideas come up and the script changes a few times–ours kept changing until right before I walked down the aisle. Your wedding planner should be able to keep everyone organized and updated on the changes.
Step 19: Prepare any remarks (in Chinese)
If you’re going to have a Chinese wedding, you should probably prepare some remarks in Chinese. While Chinese was my first language, I don’t use it often and I think in English, so it was helpful to have something written down in case I blanked out in the moment. My groom doesn’t speak Chinese but he practiced some remarks for the wedding day, which the family really appreciated.
Step 20: Pamper and relax
At this point, you’ve done all that you can do and it’s time to get your beauty rest. There may be a lot of open questions and details that seem unconfirmed, but you just have to go with the flow and roll with the punches.
For example, my grandma suffered a fall the week before my wedding and had to get surgery, and we weren’t sure if she would recover in time to attend, or if we would need to factor into the agenda a private tea ceremony for her at home, or how to even structure the rest of the events with this uncertainty. We didn’t know the answer to this up until almost the start of the wedding. I have no idea how my wedding planner stayed so cool, calm, and collected throughout the entire process but I am so grateful for her energy. In the end, my grandma made it, and in good spirits, so all was well.
The point is there is no point fretting the entire night before your wedding. It will happen how it’s supposed to happen. In any case, you’ll want to be well-rested so you can be fully present and enjoy every fleeting moment.
Chinese Wedding Day Results:
The Wedding Day Agenda:
- 7 am – 10 am: Getting ready with stylist
- 10 am – 12 pm: First Look & Photoshoot
- 12 pm – 2 pm: Lunch break
- 2 pm – 3:30 pm: Get ready for welcome reception and tea ceremony
- 3:30 pm – 4:30 pm: Welcome reception & tea / cocktail hour
- 4:30 pm – 5:30 pm: Tea Ceremony
- 5:30 pm – 6 pm: Get ready for wedding ceremony while guests continue tea / cocktail hour
- 6 pm – 6:30 pm: Chinese Wedding Ceremony
- 6:30 pm – 7 pm: Get ready for reception while guests are seated for dinner
- 7 pm – 8:30 pm: Toasting time with each guest during dinner
- 8:30 pm – 10:30 pm: Dancing & socialization
The Chinese Wedding Decor
RED. Lanterns. Double Happiness. Full Moon.
Our wedding planner nailed the vibes better than I could have hoped. Not to mention this was the first wedding ever to be hosted at this venue.
The flowers featured beautiful bougainvilleas, a naturally abundant flower in the Guangxi area, where I was born. The bridal lantern bouquet also highlighted gorgeous proteas from South Africa, where the groom was born. It was a true representation of bride and groom blended into a beautiful bouquet—and in a LANTERN.
The welcome reception / tea & cocktail hour was filled with an abundance of delectable and ‘lucky’ pastries and snacks. The tables were set up for friendly mahjong matches.
The Chinese tea ceremony was set up in front of the full moon, blooming with our favorite flowers.
The wedding stage was surrounded by red and gold lanterns, ribbons and flowers, that made it feel like we were inside a magical gazebo inside the moon.
Getting Ready
I cherished the peaceful moments of getting ready just as much as the actual wedding festivities. It was all laughs or zero stress.
Since our friends are based outside of China, there were no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Our wedding team of planners, stylists, photographers and videographers kept us laughing and with drinks in our hands.
The First Look & Photoshoot
My favorite prop of the day was the red bridal veil (or hong gai tou: “head cover”). Traditionally, the bride’s face is covered with the red veil for the groom to unveil with a red stick as the “first look.” There are other ancient Chinese traditions around this, such as presenting the bride in a red carriage, her feet never touching the floor, but we wanted to keep things simple and minimize the props required.
Unlike traditional Chinese weddings, where exchanging vows is not a thing, and even Western weddings, where vows are exchanged in front of an audience, we customized this ritual by sharing our vows privately during this magical moment of unveiling.
Lunch Break
Everyone in China takes a siesta during lunch so no one is expected to be working–not even your wedding crew. I recommend resting during this brief period, but we had a formal lunch outing with close family who traveled for the wedding to maximize the quality time together.
Welcome Reception
The intention of the welcome reception was to greet our guests with lucky treats and cozy conversation before the ceremonies, starting with the tea ceremony. The treats were meticulously decorated to represent double happiness, prosperity and fertility.
The vibe was 1920s Shanghai style and my stylist killed it with the hair and makeup. The color palette and wedding decor matched perfectly with my modern rainbow-colored qi pao. The groom wore a bespoke grey suit with a lavender shirt that was custom-made in Hong Kong.
Chinese Tea Ceremony
The intention of the traditional Chinese tea ceremony is for the bride and groom to honor their elders by serving them tea. It’s an intimate ritual to pay respects and show gratitude to the elders who brought us up in this world.
The elders are seated on their thrones as the bride and groom kneel on red kneeling pillows to serve the tea in bespoke red ceremonial teacups.
While drinking the tea, the elders often share some words of wisdom, blessing the couple with good luck and welcoming them to the unified family. The elders may also take this time to bestow the couple with red envelopes, jewelry or other meaningful gifts.
Depending on how many elders you’re honoring, there can be several rounds of tea. Tea ceremonies can be held privately or with your wedding guests in the audience.
Chinese Wedding Ceremony
Unlike Western weddings, my father did not walk me down the aisle and we did not have bridesmaids and groomsmen waiting at the end of the aisle.
First, the groom made his entrance down the aisle followed by my male cousins, the first carrying the red silk ribbon, the second carrying our marriage contract in a scroll, and the third carrying the bai jiu (“white liquor”) for toasting.
As I stepped out of the darkness, in front of the blooming full moon, the most important elder females (my mother-in-law, my stepmom, my mom’s older sister, and my mom’s bestie) came forth and draped the phoenix cape over me. The red jeweled fan I held was handmade by another female family member.
My groom then walked down the aisle toward me with the red silk ribbon (with a knot in the shape of a flower tied in the middle), and we walked down the aisle together holding the red silk ribbon in unity.
Unlike Western weddings, there was no vow exchange or kissing the bride on stage (the elders don’t need to see that). We exchanged vows privately during our ‘first look’ / unveiling.
Instead, the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony commenced with the bride and groom taking three bows: the first bow directed to heaven and earth (the universe), the second bow to parents (and grandparents), and the third and final bow to each other.
Then we each ‘signed’ the marriage contract scroll with our thumb prints in red ink, and toasted each other with bai jiu.
After these rituals, the ceremony wraps up with some poignant words from the couple and important elders.
I wanted a unique and creative way to honor my mother at our Chinese wedding ceremony, and the result was such a meaningful detail to the entire space.
I’ve always been touched by the beautiful ways other weddings have honored the deceased, from leaving a chair open to holding silence to reading a letter…
To honor my mother, a beautiful custom lantern was made, adorned with all the special wedding flowers and a yellow butterfly (which has always been a symbol for my mom since she passed).
We concluded the ceremony by taking the unlit lantern down the aisle together, hanging it on the full moon, and lighting it together.
Her spirit was felt throughout the night, under the glow of the actual full moon.
Chinese Wedding Reception
At Chinese weddings, while the guests enjoy dinner, the bride and groom go around to each guest at each table to personally thank them and toast them with bai jiu (“white liquor,” the strong stuff).
You can imagine how sloshed one can get, the more guests there are. Hence the tiny cups. Some people secretly fill their toasting cups with water…but we kept it real.
Anyway, it gave everyone the liquid courage and social acceptance to dance the night away.
I let my hair down for the bridal look and changed into a bedazzled silver wedding gown. It’s not a Western wedding so I did not care to find a white dress, but still wanted something fun and princess-y.
The groom changed into a bespoke dark navy suit, tailor-made in Nanning (literally like a week before the wedding), with a crystal bolo tie handmade by his mother.
The Chinese Wedding Aftermath
How much did the Chinese wedding cost?
Wedding costs (and living costs in general) are much cheaper in China than in the States, so you can have a very lovely wedding for between $4,000 – $10,000 USD that would otherwise cost tens of thousands of dollars in the States. Your budget can be largely impacted by your total number of guests as well as the level of luxury at your wedding dinner.
This was the bulk of our Chinese wedding budget for 60 guests, excluding travel (e.g. transportation, hotels, etc.), and we had a lot of leftover food and beverages:
| Wedding Item | Cost in USD |
| Wedding Planner & Staff (includes flowers, decor, sound, lighting, props, day-of coordination) | $4,370 |
| Photographers | $646 |
| Videographer | $365 |
| Stylist | $337 |
| Wedding Dresses (excluding the qi pao, which was gifted) | $436 |
| Groom Suits | $400 |
| Beverages | $430 |
| Lucky Snacks / Treats | $418 |
| Wedding Dinner | $2,704 |
How long did it take to get wedding photos and videos?
Within a week after the wedding, our photographers shared photo highlights and our videographer shared a 25-second preview trailer, while they continued editing the rest of the footage. Within a month after the wedding, they delivered over a thousand photos as well as a 5-minute video and an hour-long full-length feature film.
How were the wedding photos and videos sent internationally?
The wedding photos and videos were sent via Baidu cloud (Google and hence Google Drive is not available in China, nor are popular file-sharing apps like Dropbox). While we were able to access the files, it requires logins and is therefore not easy to share from Baidu with international folks–and it’s all in Chinese–so we exported and uploaded them all to OneDrive after returning to the States for easy sharing.
Frequently Asked Questions about Chinese Wedding Planning
Do wedding guests need a visa to attend a wedding in China?
Yes. Guests who are not Chinese citizens and will be traveling to China do need to arrange a visa to enter China. Check with your embassy for specific country requirements and allow at least a few weeks for the visa to process.
What other traditions are there at Chinese weddings?
There are so many ancient Chinese wedding traditions that it would take days (and lots of budget) to honor them all. These are just a few:
- the hair combing tradition, where the mother of the bride or a close female relative combs the bride’s hair on the night before the wedding while blessing her with good fortune under candlelight
- a grand procession led by the groom to pick up the bride on the morning of the wedding, typically involving fancy luxury cars, firecrackers and musical instruments
- the groom door games, where the groom must perform a series of stunts while bribing every bridesmaid or relative along the way with red envelopes, in order to reach his bride
- female relatives may decorate the consummation bedroom with all red everything for the night of the wedding
- firecrackers or fireworks to welcome the bride and groom at the wedding
How were payments made with Chinese vendors?
All payments were made via WeChat Pay by scanning the vendor’s QR code and electronically submitting the payment.
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