You don’t have to be a morning person to enjoy the benefits of a morning routine. It’s taken me years of trial and error–and lots of giving up and restarting–to realize that it’s not so much about how early you can command yourself to rise, but it’s more about how you spend your first waking moments.
Your morning sets the tone for your day
It doesn’t matter whether you’re part of the 5 am club or if you sleep til noon. All that matters is that upon greeting a new day of life, you choose yourself first, every day.
Otherwise, if the first thing you do each day is check your phone, answer emails, perform work duties or take care of others, you’re telling your subconscious that all of those things are more important than you. Once you’re already on the hamster wheel, you don’t even realize you’re on it and racing to a finish line that doesn’t exist. After a while, you’re just consumed with busyness. You’re so busy with everything you have to do that you lose sight of what you really want to do and who you want to be. If this goes on for long enough, your deprioritization of yourself turns into self loathing and self distrust, which can manifest as deep depression or crippling anxiety.
If you struggle with putting yourself first, try not to judge your morning routine when you first start implementing it. Don’t worry about whether you’re doing it right or doing it enough. If all you can give yourself is five minutes in the morning, recognize that you’re giving yourself that–don’t judge it. Eventually, with persistent practice, you might find yourself appreciating those five minutes so much that you long to dedicate more and more time to yourself…maybe even a few hours.
You’re not waking up earlier so you can start working earlier. You’re waking up earlier to enjoy your life–to create your life.
How to start implementing a morning routine
To start designing a morning routine that will help you feel better and will motivate you to continue the habit, you have to understand that it’s not about conquering your mind so you can have more time to do more things. It’s about feeding all of the parts of you that make you a whole living being.
If you’ve read any of Robin Sharma’s books, such as The 5 AM Club, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, The Everyday Hero Manifesto or others, you may have come across his teachings on the “4 Interior Empires,” which include your mindset, heartset, healthset and soulset. I find it easier to remember when I think of of it as the four “parts” of you that make up your human existence (and determine your human experience):
- Your mind, aka your thinking conscious brain–your intellect. This thinking mind fills your attention with memories from the past, plans for the future, judgments about yourself and others, longing for desires, replays of your trauma and all the various narratives that have formed based on your life experiences.
- Your body, aka the sack of flesh and bones covered by a layer of protective skin. This is the physical portal that houses all of your “parts.” So many of us just use our bodies to get where we need to go and do the functions we need to perform without ever really communicating with our bodies or understanding what it’s going through and what it needs. We need our bodies to feel. And not just to feel, but to release those feelings, so we’re not carrying such heaviness deep within us, weighing us down as we move through life.
- Your heart, that beating thing inside your chest that pulsates with joy or sorrow. When you feel pure joy, it can feel like your heart is melting and softening. When you’re experiencing deep sorrow or grief, it can feel like your heart is being stabbed or crushed, and hardening into smaller bits. Most of us think with our minds and not with our hearts, leaving us out of touch with what brings us joy and what robs us of it.
- Your soul, aka your authentic, innocent self before any external factors like your parents, teachers or society, told you who you are and how things are. Think of yourself as a newborn, before you had any thoughts or judgments, and you simply existed. That newborn-like soul is still within you. Visualize it living in your mind’s eye, or your third eye, that space between and behind your eyebrows. This is the “seat of intuition.”
How to nourish your mind, body, heart & soul
Now that you’re acquainted with the core parts that make you whole, your mission is to nourish those parts if you want to feel better.
Here are some ways to check in with these core parts:
- Mind
- What it means to nourish your mind:
- To understand yourself
- To deconstruct the narratives running your consciousness
- To learn new things
- To harness your genius and creativity
- Ways to check in with your mind:
- In a journal, write down your stream of conscious thoughts as they come without pausing to analyze them
- Ask yourself: is this thought I’m thinking a new thought or an old thought repeating itself once again?
- Ask yourself: when was the last time I learned something new?
- Ask yourself: are my deeds aligned with my thoughts?
- What it means to nourish your mind:
- Body
- What it means to nourish your body:
- To strengthen it with exercise
- To fuel it with nutrients and hydration
- To allow it to rest and recharge
- Ways to check in with your body:
- Practice breathwork–breath is what gives your body life
- Start with deep breathing
- Then move on to breathwork techniques like wim hof breathing, alkaline breathing, breath of fire, etc.
- Stretch and notice where there is tension in your body
- Do your muscles need to be strengthened or massaged?
- Are you hungry or thirsty?
- Exercise and sweat to release endorphins, helping you build strength, mobility and confidence
- Practice breathwork–breath is what gives your body life
- What it means to nourish your body:
- Heart
- What it means to nourish your heart:
- To find joy
- To let go of what no longer serves you
- To give energy to what makes you happy
- Ways to check in with your heart:
- Ask yourself: when was the last time I felt pure joy?
- Ask yourself: what negative feelings am I still holding onto?
- Look at your to-do list and identify how many of those things are things you have to do (for work, for others, etc.) and how many of those things are things you want to do
- What it means to nourish your heart:
- Soul
- What it means to nourish your soul:
- To be still–to simply be, without doing anything
- To unlearn external influences and beliefs
- To be with nature and remember that you are part of nature
- Ways to check in with your soul:
- Write down the most prevailing narratives in your life and identify where those beliefs came from–then let them go with the understanding that you are not those beliefs
- Meditate in complete silence and stillness; notice and name the things that come up, without judgment or analysis
- Embody your child self and ask your inner child what they think of your adult self
- What it means to nourish your soul:
When designing your morning routine, make sure you check in with each of these core parts of you. You’ll discover that there are many different ways to nourish each part of you, and some may work better than others. You may eventually want to break it down to even more granular parts of you. Through trying and practicing various methods, you’ll learn what works for you.
3 Sample Morning Routines: 5 minutes, 1 hour & 3 hours
Here are some sample routines, varying in commitment levels, to help you get started.
The “I don’t have time for this” routine: 5 minutes total
- 1 minute: Write down the stream of conscious thoughts in your mind without pause
- 1 minute: Drink a glass of water and stretch out your body
- 1 minute: Write down what you’re grateful for in this moment
- 1 minute: Repeat affirmations as the person you want to become
- 1 minute: Sit in complete silence and stillness; simply notice what comes up
The “I only have an hour” routine: 1 hour total
- 15 minutes: Meditate in complete silence and stillness; or practice guided meditation
- 15 minutes: Rigorous exercise of your choice…jumping jacks, burpees, running, dancing, yoga–whatever gets your heart pumping
- 15 minutes: Do something that brings you joy and peace…soak in nature, work on a craft, write about a joyful experience, enjoy music, take a bath, draw/paint–this is your creative zen time
- 15 minutes: Practice learning by reading a book, listening to an audiobook, listening to a podcast–whatever you’re motivated to learn
The “I’m fully invested to morning self care” routine: 3 hours total
- 30 minutes: Practice deep breathing or breathwork techniques
- These are some helpful guided breathwork sessions with music, if silence is difficult for you:
- The Breathwork Beats YouTube channel has helped me a lot–see below for some of my favorite guided breathwork sessions
- These are some helpful guided breathwork sessions with music, if silence is difficult for you:
- 30 minutes: Meditate in complete silence and stillness or follow a guided meditation
- 45 minutes: Sweat through some vigorous exercise
- I personally feel best from strength training, but do what works for your body
- Exercise can be yoga, dancing, running, tai chi, etc.
- 30 minutes: Take a soothing bath with epsom salt, let your body recharge and appreciate your body for all its hard work in keep you alive, mobile and strong
- 30 minutes: Learn something–read a book, listen to a podcast, whatever satisfies your natural curiosity for life
- 15 minutes: Plan the day ahead–make sure that your agenda is not only filled with things you have to do, but also with things you want to do
With any new routine, it’ll take persistent practice for it to form as a habit. That persistent practice is reconditioning your subconscious mind to believe that you are important. Your experience of life matters, and you are in control of your experiences. You deserve to feel good. You are worthy. And with that understanding, you will feel better.
I’m still learning and adjusting my morning routines to work for me as I evolve…
Here are some of my favorite guided breathwork sessions:
